This part of the studio / office was looking like a disaster, so I finally took the initiative to put it all in order. This required organizing the bookshelf, which I had been dreading.
One of my first real jobs was working in a bookstore; first, in my mom’s used shop, and then later, at B. Dalton. Before that, it had all be food service janitorial work, and as a kid interested in music and art and books, I was miserable in all those shitty jobs. I would cry myself to sleep, covered in grease and hamburger smell. But bookstores allowed me to put on a bow tie, and talk to people about Brautigan and Douglas Adams.
I loved working in bookstores. I was the nerdy comic book collector in my group of friends, and bookstores had comics, so I was into it. I did my best to do my best at that job.
I worked for B. Dalton / Barnes & Noble for 10 years. I was positive I would retire from that company. I worked my ass off, became the manager for the music department. I poured my entire paycheck into books and booze and was proud of that job. I was sure I had found my place in the world.
A corporate manager was hired on one day, and took over managing the Barnes & Noble I worked at. She was one of the most difficult managers I’ve ever encountered. She found something wrong with everyone, except those who agreed with her and her alone. She systematically fired all the long-term staff, who were eligible for benefits and long vacations. Then she increased the turnover to the point where, within six months, almost no one I knew still worked there. I was one of the first people fired, for showing up early one day to make sure the returns in my department were finished promptly. (I’ve never understood her logic, either.)
The moral of the story is: you shouldn’t have goals or dreams, because corporate America will eventually fuck you over once in a big way, if it means that they can fuck over many more people who will come after you to take your place.
After that, I decided to go to college to pursue writing and radio. Not that my degree ended up being worth anything either, but at least it was a nice distraction from being fired.
And at least I still have the books.